A jar of caterpillars sat next to a vase of flowers as the centerpiece on our kitchen table for many days leading up to Easter. They were the talk of every mealtime, as the girls gathered around and pressed their faces together to see how much their beloved critters had grown since the last meal. We watched them grow from tiny baby insects into plump, furry, hungry caterpillars, day by day. To our girls, these weren’t just bugs; they were special members of our family, each deserving of a unique name.
Fuzzy Wuzzy.
Archie.
Isla.
Kyla.
Banana Boat.
Suddenly, cocoons formed, and the caterpillars retreated into their hiding place, suspended from the vented lid of their jar. At this point, they weren’t much to look at from day to day, but we knew something special was happening inside.
So we waited. And waited.
When the timing seemed right, we transferred the cocoons into their butterfly habitat (read: when we realized we had accidentally thrown away the habitat that originally came with them, and we scrambled to order another before the butterflies emerged in the jar...We narrowly escaped having a “situation” on our hands...!)
The day before Easter, we were talking about the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ with the girls. We made “resurrection rolls” to demonstrate the body (marshmallow), oil and spices (egg and cinnamon sugar) and the cloths that wrapped the body before placing into the tomb (crescent rolls). When the rolls were fresh out of the oven, we placed one on a cutting board and the girls were delighted to find that just as they had hoped, the “tomb” was empty! At that exact moment, we glanced over to see that one of our cocoons had opened and a butterfly was emerging right in front of us! It was a most unexpected - and yet perfectly timed - demonstration of the resurrection hope we were discussing!
The next morning, on Easter, we gathered to have a late morning brunch around the kitchen table. Within the span of an hour, the remaining 4 cocoons had opened, and our once furry friends emerged as the most beautiful and fragile new butterflies! It was a stunning Easter gift, as yet another beautiful depiction of the new life we have in Christ. (Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, the new is here! -2 Corinthians 5:17)
We enjoyed those new baby butterflies for the days following Easter- feeding them nectar and fresh fruits, and trying to decide which one was Fuzzy Wuzzy, Archie, etc. Then, I mentioned that we would soon need to release them. Our 5 year old immediately broke down in tears that turned into heart-wrenching sobs. She didn’t want to release the butterflies at all... she wanted to keep them! I realized that we had never actually discussed releasing the butterflies, and I had simply assumed the kids would understand; meanwhile, they were cherishing these creatures that they thought would be their pets. But the truth is, this was not their forever home.
Then, the thought struck me, “why not make a celebration out of this hard thing, to help make letting go a little easier?” So I suggested a Butterfly Release Party. A smile slowly replaced the tears, and suddenly we had a plan.
Meanwhile, the following day at work was filled with heartache, as the already uncertain world had now come crashing down for some of my pediatric patients and their families. One family held their beloved baby girl for the very last time, only days before her first birthday. Another family received news that their son had cancer. Again...For the third time. This season of quarantine during the Coronavirus was hard enough for most people; now, these families who I had gotten to know over the past year found themselves thrown in the middle of devastating loss - and without their normal support systems to surround them. They were now isolated in their grief, and I felt my own hope slowly slipping away as I tried to wrap my mind around their heartbreaking situations.
After an emotional day at work (from home) I walked into our house from my garage “office” feeling deflated... and I stopped suddenly as I entered the living room. The girls had spent the entire afternoon with our babysitter making paper butterflies that were now hanging from the entryways of our vaulted living room ceiling. Colorful and fluttering in the breeze from the ceiling fan, they appeared as if they were dancing and floating around freely. A colorful handmade painted sign that said “Bye Bye Butterflies,” was hung in the window. The girls bubbled over with excitement of their plans for their Butterfly Release Party, complete with a specific song request to play during the great butterfly escape. They changed into their fanciest dresses and skipped into the backyard for the butterfly release party.
Squeals of pure joy erupted as my husband unzipped the butterfly net, and faces full of wonder gathered around to watch the butterflies make their journey out into the open world. Innocent hands reached out as the butterflies fluttered onto tiny fingers and rested there before dancing off into the sky. The girls were taking delight in letting go of something they had once held so tightly. The very thing they had dreaded was now a joyful celebration. It was a beautiful portrayal of new life and a release of Hope.
We find ourself in an unprecedented season of uncertainty in the world around us, as the COVID-19 pandemic has marked humanity in ways we never could have imagined. The rhythm of our lives that we once held so tightly has been pried from our grip. The control we once thought we had over our schedules, our agendas, and our busyness has been surrendered unexpectedly. Jobs, schools, and everyday errands look different than ever before. The whole world is grieving together, and yet some families are further isolated in a depth of grief that is truly unimaginable.
But like the caterpillars, we are being transformed in this season also. We are isolated in our shelter-in-place “cocoons” for a time, and there is no clear pathway for returning to our "normal" lives. We don’t know exactly what the months ahead hold (though the truth is that we never actually have.) But as we loosen our grip on the things we can’t control, we find ourselves emerging in celebration of a more beautiful season ahead.
Releasing Hope and butterflies,
L
P.S. No celebration is complete without CAKE, am I right?! Hence, Charlotte and her daddy spent hours in the kitchen the next evening, crafting the butterfly cake of her dreams...
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